Hornswoggled
by Gibs
Summary: Another short oneshot from the I Surrender universe. Harm and Mac welcome their twins to the world and reminisce about the odd way they ended up getting named.


Again, written for Pixie's February Challenge 2006 - I've long since forgotten what the challenge words were though LOL.  
Author: Gibs

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. _JAG_ and its characters are the property of Belisarius Productions and Donald P. Bellisario. This story is not intended to violate any copyrights they have and is not intended for profit in any way.

Category: AU (_I Surrender_ series), Vignette  
Rating: K

Summary: Just shamelessly using Pixie's challenge to add yet another part to this story.

**HORNSWAGGLED**

Whittington Hospital  
Highgate Hill  
London N19  
25 MARCH 2010  
2304 ZULU

Harm watched with wide-eyed bewilderment as the nurse placed one tightly bundled child, and then another, into his and Mac's arms.

"They are absolutely gorgeous, sir. Do you have names for them yet?" The neonatal nurse rolled the babies' cot next to the bed and put the brake on.

Mac grinned and looked at her husband. Realizing he was still lost in his children, she looked up at the young nurse and replied herself. "Sam and Molly".

"Oh – that's precious! Just like _Ghost!_"

This remark seemed to snap Harm out of his own little world in a hurry. "No!" he said vehemently. "We were hornswaggled!"

"I beg your pardon?"

Mac flashed Harm an understanding grin and returned her attention to the tall brunette. "A friend of ours named them for us."

_**Flashback…**_

HARM AND MAC'S HOUSE  
9 MELROSE AVE LONDON NW2  
1 MARCH 2010  
2231 ZULU

"Harm… he's devastated." Mac held the phone across the bed to her husband who was busily typing on his laptop.

Harm just raised a suspicious eyebrow in her direction. "Yeah… right."

"He is! He's practically suicidal. He says you don't love him anymore."

"I never loved him." Harm stated wryly and continued to pound the keys in front of him.

"Harm! At least _talk_ to the man for God's sake. You're giving him ulcers."

"He doesn't _get_ ulcers, Mac – he's a carrier." When she shook the phone at him again and gave him 'that look' – the one that told him he should do what he's told - Harm sighed dramatically and grabbed the phone from his wife. He returned his wife's look with one of his own – the one that said he would get her for this later - and he started into the conversation immediately. "No Keeter."

"Awww… c'mon Ham-bone. You can't deny me this."

"You're not helping your case any, Jack."

"I don't need a case, buddy – I'm your best friend! You'd think you'd _want_ to do this!"

Harm shut the laptop forcefully and leaned back into the pillows. "You're right, Jack. I do _want_ to do this… but I'm not going to. I'm not going to leave a mile-wide opening for my son to be teased at school. You of all people know what _I_ went through with the name _Harmon._ I won't do that to my son!"

"Harm! How are they going to tease him with the name 'Jack'? – It's one of the most common names out there!"

"Oh, I see – and you don't think that anyone is going to call him "Jack _Rabbit_"?

"Awww… c'mon, buddy. You can't penalize _me_ for _your_ unfortunate last name!"

"I said 'no', Jack."

"Well, you know my first name isn't Jack. It's Joseph. They just called me Jack for short."

"Sorry, Keeter – that's out of the question too."

"Why not!? Are you gonna tell me you're afraid "Joe Rabb" sounds too much like a rap star or somethin'?"

"No…" Harm hesitated slightly and glanced across the bed at Mac, who – much to his distraction - was busy rubbing cocoa butter over her substantial belly. "It's just that… well… That was Mac's dad's name." Hopefully Keeter would get the drift that this wasn't a good thing, and not force him to explain further. To his relief, his good friend did indeed know him well.

"OK, OK, OK… how about a compromise?"

Harm immediately became suspicious. "Such as…?"

"Let me name him."

Harm glanced warily over at his wife. "I don't know, Keeter… What did you have in mind?"

"Samuel. That was _my_ father's name. You knew him – he was a good guy, right?"

Harm chuckled fondly at the memory of Sam Keeter tossing his son into a swimming pool in his full dress whites at their Academy graduation party. Sadly, it had been only a week later that the man had died. "Yes, Jack. Uh… quite the character as I recall."

"Great! Then it's all settled."

"Whoa… hold on there partner. I didn't say anything was settled."

"Oh c'mon, Hormone – you know Mac will agree – she loves me!"

"I know – you have no idea how much that scares me. Well… it's OK with me if it's OK with her."

"Great! Put her on again. I'll talk to you soon, buddy – you're the best."

Harm smiled fondly. "You too, Jack – take care." He passed the phone back to his wife and raised his eyebrows. "It's your call, sweet thing."

"Oh sure – make _me_ the bad guy" she teased with a smile.

"Hey – you have full vetoing powers, MacKenzie – you know that."

Mac smiled and put the phone to her ear. "Hello Joseph."

"Hey Mac! Harm said that since you couldn't name the boy after me, I could name the girl… if it was OK with you…my mom's name was Molly…"

_**End flashback…**_

"Yeah – I still can't believe we let Keeter pull that one over on us."

Mac laughed. "Yeah, well… I think he did a pretty good job with the names so I'm not complaining."

Harm shifted uncomfortably on the edge of the mattress and looked at his wife out of the corner of his eye. "Uhhh… Mac…" he lightly tousled the hair on his daughter's head and looked troubled.

"What is it Harm?"

He chuckled uncomfortably, trying to make a joke out of the situation but feeling a little bit of dread in the pit of his stomach. "Is there… uh… something you wanted to tell me?"

"What do you mean?"

Harm shifted on the bed again and couldn't meet her eyes. "It's just that…" he sighed and attempted to try again. "Ma-ac, it's just that… the babies…"

"Yesss…?" Mac prompted him to continue.

"…they're both… _redheads!_"

There was a moment of silence and then the glitter of tears appeared in Mac's eyes. She suddenly looked away in shame and spoke in a whisper. "You're right, Harm… I'm sorry… I should have told you before. I don't know how I ever thought I could keep this from you…"

Harm's heart dropped into his stomach and he almost couldn't breathe.

Mac looked up into his eyes, "I'm sorry Harm…" the corner of her mouth twitched slightly, "…my mother has red hair…"

Harm sighed in relief and then broke into a broad grin. "That was mean, MacKenzie" he warned.

"_I_ was mean?! Harm, you didn't really think…"

"No!" He turned slightly red with embarrassment and shifted again on the mattress. "I was sort of just joking… but I have to admit… you had me going there a bit at the end…"

Mac raised her eyebrow and shook her head slowly. "Harm… _your_ mother has red hair too."

Harm smiled sheepishly and looked down at the sleepy infant in his arms. "Oh yeah…"

THE END


End file.
